Sometimes we are led by joy but many times we are called forward by frustration. It’s not always the beautiful ideas that stir us into action. Often, it’s the ache. The sharp edge of what feels wrong or unfair. The daily rub of something missing that no one else seems to notice. Your frustrations could be revealing your calling.

To live a fulfilling life and to lead with clarity and integrity, you have to know who you are. Not just what you’re good at. Not just what others need from you. But who you are, at your core.

Over time, we learn to shape-shift. To fit in, to be liked, to stay safe, to be chosen. We follow the norms and social rules. We do what’s expected. We shrink a little. Or a lot. Over time, we forget what it feels like to live authentically and we become someone else. This is your reminder: be you.

We’ve often been taught that leadership means having answers, being in charge, taking control. But healthy leadership isn’t about control at all.

Instead of thinking about who we influence, what if we paid attention to who we are in relationship with? Your spheres of relationship are the people you already interact with regularly. Not as an expert or “influencer”, but as a real person who shows up with presence and intention.

Leadership has long been defined as being out in front. The cultural norm has leaders setting direction, making decisions, and directing their followers. But what if the most transformative leadership doesn’t happen out in front but from alongside?

In the pursuit of becoming a leader, we often default to copying what we see around us and end up leading like someone else. It’s very normal to compare ourselves to the leaders we admire, but comparison limits and restricts. The truth is, there is no single right way to lead.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you truly count as a leader, you’re not alone. We’ve learned to picture leadership a certain way but in truth, there are many ways to lead.