The Importance of Knowing Who You Are
To live a fulfilling life and to lead with clarity and integrity, you have to know who you are.
Not just what you’re good at.
Not just what others need from you.
But who you are, at your core.
This is called your sense of self.
It’s the understanding that you exist as a whole and unique person, with your own thoughts, values, needs, emotions, limits, and boundaries.
“Your sense of self and how you perceive your identity can influence how you view your successes, failures, and overall purpose in the world.”
Our sense of self is what shapes the way we live our lives through:
Self-concept (how you see yourself)
Self-worth (how you value yourself)
Agency (your ability to make aligned choices)
Boundaries (knowing where you end and others begin)
A healthy sense of self becomes an anchor for how you live and lead. You’ll move through life with steadiness and clarity. You’ll make decisions that reflect what matters most to you. You’ll be able to hold space for others without losing yourself.
An unformed or underdeveloped sense of self results in lack of direction and confidence. You might blend into the people and environments around you. You may over-identify with your roles, responsibilities, or relationships. You begin to shape-shift in response to what others expect. Your own voice gets quieter. Over time, you lose touch with what you think, feel, or want.
This isn’t a personal flaw or a character issue. It’s often a learned pattern and, for women, it can result from cultural expectations. Women are taught to be agreeable, to keep the peace, to not be a burden. We’re praised for self-sacrifice and questioned when we start to reclaim our identity.
Sadly, without a healthy sense of self, we end up living lives that are not our own.
And, as leaders, we can end up taking on inauthentic personalities, postures and practices and push others to shrink and lose themselves too.
Without a healthy sense of self, you cannot be a healthy leader.
With a healthy sense of self, you will lead with clarity, real confidence and the ability to empower others to do the same.
What does it take to become a great leader? It starts with you being yourself.
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In my journey, I discovered that developing a healthy sense of self enabled me to make decisions with greater clarity, create boundaries with grace, bring ideas to the table with confidence, and live in alignment with what matters most to me.
Cultivating a healthy sense of self enabled me to live and lead with authenticity, freedom and joy.
And, friend: you can return to your authentic self and develop your sense of self! You can reconnect with who you are and begin living in alignment with what is true, good, and life-giving.
If you’re ready to begin, here are a few simple ways to start cultivating a healthy sense of self:
Make time to reflect on what truly matters to you
Notice moments when you feel most like yourself
Practice naming your needs, feelings, and limits without apology
Pay attention to what brings peace, energy, or unease
Practice saying yes and no in ways that align with your values
Begin believing that your authentic self is a needed gift to those around you
Dive into some books or podcasts on Emotional Intelligence and sense of self
See a counsellor or coach for guidance in developing your sense of self
It’s a slow journey but it is worth it. It will bring freedom, not just for you, but for those around you too. When you choose to develop a healthy sense of self, you help others to do the same.
Imagine living and working alongside people who know who they are and are confident in what they offer! Relationships flourish. Workplaces become more collaborative. Communities become healthy when people know their worth and are energised to contribute.
And this all can happen with you simply being… you.
With you in the journey,
Justine
Reflection:
Where and when in your life do you feel like your true self?
In what areas have you lost touch with what you really think, feel, or want?
