Reminder: Failure Is Your Friend
What is it about failure that we hate so much?
We humans really do not enjoy it. Failure feels uncomfortable, exposing, even a little humiliating. Socially it can feel awkward. Professionally, it can feel costly. Personally, it can feel like a verdict.
Yet there are some people who seem to be at peace with failure, and even embrace it! Innovators, pioneers, and creative leaders expect it, learn from it, and even seek it. Why?
Because they have made friends with failure. They understand what most of us are still learning: Failure is not the end of the story. It is part of how new things come into being.
“Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.”
Failure is an essential part of innovation, creativity, and growth. Failure is a normal part of trying something new. It’s a natural and important part of trying to bring something new into existence.
Failure is not a setback. It’s not proof that you’re unqualified or unworthy. It’s a normal and necessary part of learning, growing, maturing.
Failure is your friend, not your enemy.
“There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period.”
Failure does great and beautiful things like:
Failure expands your limits.
Failure shows you the edge of what’s possible now, and an opportunity to grow beyond it. In weight training, there is a concept called “lift to failure.” It’s intentionally reaching the point where your muscles cannot complete another rep. Through that failure, the muscles tear and repair. Failure is literally is how strength is built and it shifts our limits. My favourite part of weight training is getting to literally see my strength grow. It’s a great metaphor for life. Is there a skill you want to develop? Lift to failure!
Failure invites practice.
Natural skill feels wonderful, but mastery only comes through practice and repetition. Even the most gifted natural athletes train. They do the reps. They show up. They keep going. Failure reminds you that repetition is part of becoming excellent, no matter how gifted or experienced you are. Achieving mastery takes years, some say 10,000 hours! That’s 2.6 years of practicing 40 hours a week. If you’re not at mastery yet, you’re going to be facing various forms of failure. And even then, mastery isn’t the end of the journey. There are so many variables that invite us into further practice, learning, and growing.
Failure invites exploration.
Failure and mistakes can be wise guides, if we let them. They invite us to ask questions rather than assign blame. What worked? What did not? What could be done differently next time? Curiosity transforms failure from shame into discovery, turning setbacks into sacred ground for learning and experimenting. Exploring what’s never been tried before is how new discoveries are made. If there was no failure involved, someone else would have discovered it by now. There is so much out there waiting to be known, created, explored!
Failure reveals your need for a coach.
Coaches and mentors are vital for both skill and inner growth. Failure can highlight an area where you need wise, skilled coaching. My husband threw javelin competitively in high school and university but never had a skilled throw coach. In his final season, he was invited to train for one session with a highly respected throw coach at the University of Washington. The coach gave him technique advice that catapulted his skill. At the next meet he PR’d and qualified for Nationals. One coaching session changed everything! Coaches see what we cannot. They guide refinement and help us grow in ways we can’t do on our own.
“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.”
Failure reminds us that growth comes through process, not perfection. Failure builds wisdom, resilience, and empathy. It humbles us personally and helps us give grace and support to others who are also trying and learning.
When you reframe failure as a teacher, you begin to see it for what it truly is: a priceless gift. It sharpens your creativity, strengthens your courage, and shapes your character.
So when things don’t go as you’d hoped, take a breath, learn, and try again.
You are not a failure. You are on a journey of growth.
With you in the journey,
Justine
Reflection
Where could you reframe failure as a gift? To see it as an invitation to learn, grow, or try again differently?